My DP Sales Letter To Get A CB Mod lulz!!

[NCMedia]

I simply had to repost this here:

CALLING ALL MODS/ADMINS

Imagine, A Forum Filled With Nothing But The Most Uber Threads And Top Quality Contributors That Make DP What It Used To Be Known For, A Positive Experience!

Dear Mod/Admin:

If you're sick of seeing your forum members continuously whine and bitch about the sucky place you try to call a CB section on this forum, and if you're tired of seeing a bunch of crappy threads with scamzers and ubernoobs killing this place - then I have some GREAT news - for YOU!

See, I know where you're at, I've been there many times, and over the years it took a lot of sweat and money to reach where I am... I actually posted over 1000 times before realizing what I'm making YOU realize today - The fact remains that YOU, Mr.Mod/Admin, have A LOT of power in your hands... Doesn't it FEEL GREAT to know you have the power to basically... do anything you want as long as it's for the greater good of the community? Now if you're a smart mod/admin, you'll agree with me when I point out the obvious to as to why forums fail:

Within 10 clicks/threads you vist at DP, you'll notice:

*At Least One Scam Thread

*At least 6 n00b threads

*At least 6 of those have already been covered 1000 times

*When you have no stickies, the pros leave and the blind lead the blind

*When the corporation starts to think of its corporate interests more than that of what it's own community is constantly asking for - justifiably

*You'll see some of the best CB'ers lose their lid on stupid question threads - shame but it's needed to show that this place is indeed falling apart

*No mods care to give this place the love it deserves

*Stickies have been made in other sections that have NO value to the community and are 'just for laughs', while we are concentrating on what being a webmaster and internet marketer is all about... which I thought DP was aiming for more than jokes...

BUT, today is a good day for you, because for less than the price of a breath of fresh air - YOU my friend, have the power to change all of the above with ONE swift move, ONE!

If you've ever heard of the phrase 'good things come to those who wait', I'd rather say 'GREAT THINGS HAPPEN IN AN INSTANT' - and so - YOU have the power to look great in front of your colleagues by suggesting some of the most needed damage control this forum has seen since the CB section was implemented...

Imagine, your peers looking up to you as YOU experience the following:

*Every single CB'er here would +rep you
*You would be the EPIC mod to us all, forever
*Just imagine the love you feel when you think about the good deed you did today
*The blissful euphoria of being 'one of the good guys' that listens to their members
*Be the ENVY of EVERY other mod that didn't think to do this sooner, and now they are jealous that YOU are getting all the attention and praise...

BUT! You cannot sleep on this one, it's not every day you get save a great section at a forum from continuing to nosedive to an epic n00b ridden side show you try to call a good marketing sub-forum... This offer SURELY WON'T last long!!

here is what some of your unloyal members have to say,






Now we all know what happens to those that never listen to their members right? We all know what happens when minorities rule (mods/admins) yet majorities are blatantly correct in their needs... you get what we call FCB (forum cock block) - This translates to getting cock blocked at this section and not wanting to post because there is just too much... blockage and no real threads anymore, just filler and more top 10 n00b questions...

So stop suffering from FCB and do something great with those powers you've been appointed by the great one who abandoned his baby/DP and is nowhere to be seen... In turn, you will actually experience something GREAT:

*More pros signing up and willing to take part in positive and evolving marketing practices that benefit everyone
*More happy posters and posts, less bitching, less whining, less leeching, less trolls, less spam threads, less bung, less pros leaving, more quality overall advice, more value to stick around, more people loving DP

But wait, if you take action today, we're not just going to thank you infinitely and become a reborn believer in this place... . .. oh no, that simply wouldn't do now would it? We're also going to throw in:

The First And Only DP Mod Poster Charicature - Simply give me a pic of yourself and I'll mess you up good in a funny memorable DP style souvenir poster :P

If you can get a better deal than THAT anywhere else for the price of fresh air, then I'll beat that offer by discounting ours by an additional 50%! WOW!

Act Now To Start Getting Your Butt Kissed By Your Loyal Members!

What you get with this offer
*A sticky thread that would GREATLY help guide the new comers into the ins/outs of CB

*A moderator of your choice that doesn't need to mod the whole board, just this subsection - already voted on, or you appoint yourself!

*All the bonus materials and actions outlined above, including all of our infinite love for you

*The satisfaction of doing something great

*Helping save both this forums rep and the few pros that are left...

Now that you've seen the proof, read the testimonials, and can quantify this offer, there is only one thing left to do... . ..

ASSIGN A MOD AND STICKY POST TODAY!!

PS: You can keep doing what you've been doing and getting the same old results you've always gotten, OR you can take control of the powers you have been given (power is nothing without control), and learn from a community that asks for little, and gives A LOT, as to how to make this place the best place it can be for the sake of a greater good, not just more clicks and money through chopped up threads...


PPS: It's not going to change, the members here have just about had it, and will only show so much care until all hope is gone and you'll truly be left with nothing... but for less than the cost taking your next breath, success can be yours today!


This offer may expire at midnight tonight - and the price will double tomorrow - hurrry take action NOW! >>


That was kinda fun, you should read the first one I made though lulz...

Good luck trying to get a sticky let alone a mod, but hey - the pitch is now in place.....

[JIMZ]

That is hilarious, was it an open letter or did you send it to anyone in particular?

[NCMedia]

it was in response to a mod thread.

[vegas]

Oh snap!

2 funny... HAHAHA!

[lemonarian]

Hahaha too awesome. I would give you rep... but meh.

Very lolable indeed.

[Blackman]

You need a medal for that

[bunch]

HAHAHA, I loved it when I read it on the DP today!!!

I was wondering if it was possible to get kicked off of DP now-a-days
What does a person have to do? Honestly look at the crap going on in there and they are getting away with it. quad posts on the same topic!!! come on already!!

I get a headache after about 5 post reads a day